How to plan a Jack and Jill party that brings everyone together
Want to host a wedding shower where everyone’s invited? Make your shower a Jack and Jill party to celebrate both members of a couple, rather than just the bride. Jack and Jill parties are a fun way to get families to mingle and give everyone a chance to wish the soon-to-be-newlyweds the very best of luck.
Learn all about a Jack and Jill party (and how it’s different from a bridal shower or engagement party), and then start planning with our step-by-step instruction guide, food ideas for Jack and Jill parties, and examples of stationery-inspired invitations guests will love.
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What is a Jack and Jill party?
Jack and Jill parties originated in Canada as a way to raise funds for an almost-married couple. Also called “stag and doe” parties, Jack and Jill parties would include “admission costs,” which were actually gifts for the couple given at the door before guests came into the party. The meaning of the phrase “Jack and Jill”—named for the nursery rhyme—refers to something made for two people, similar to a “Jack and Jill bathroom” that includes a double vanity for two.
Modern Jack and Jill parties are more like couples’ wedding showers. They come after the engagement party (if the couple has one) and before the wedding itself. Guests bring gifts—both monetary and otherwise—to the party to celebrate both fiancés as they take the first steps into their future. People of all genders are welcome at a Jack and Jill party—friends and family of both members of the couple—as opposed to the guest list at a traditional bridal shower.
How to plan a Jack and Jill party
Planning a Jack and Jill party is similar to planning a bridal shower as long as you square away your party logistics before the big event. Here are some quick tips to ensure your Jack and Jill party runs smoothly.
1. Set a date and time
As any couple in the midst of wedding planning can tell you, the calendar is king. Find a spot in the couple’s busy schedule to throw their Jack and Jill party, preferably a month or two before the wedding. Try to schedule the party several weeks away from any bachelor or bachelorette parties to avoid overbooking guests.
When it comes to the time of day for your party, consider what the couple prefers. Do they want an afternoon lunch with an end time, or would they like an evening barbecue that goes into the night? They may want a morning brunch to accommodate their schedules—or you could host an all-day open house to allow more guests to stop in when they can.
2. Make the guest list
Talk to the couple to get their guest list in order. Since everyone’s welcome at a Jack and Jill wedding shower, see if they want to make it more of a family party, a gathering of friends, or a combination of all their loved ones in the same place. If they had an engagement party, you can use the same guest list as a starting point for their Jack and Jill party.
Another guest list question to ask: Does the couple want their Jack and Jill party to be adults only, or would they like to have kids there? If they’re planning on inviting families, collect both children and adult headcounts on your Paperless Post invitation to note how many guests in each group you can expect (and how many PB&Js you’ll need for the refreshment table).
3. Find a venue and vendors
Once you have the date and the guest list set, you can work on finding a location to accommodate the number of people you’re inviting. A popular venue for Jack and Jill parties is at someone’s house—often one of the parents’ homes if it’s a family event. You can take advantage of a house’s indoor and outdoor spaces, especially if the weather is nice.
The venue you choose also depends on the theme and vibe of your Jack and Jill party. For a more relaxed atmosphere, find something outdoorsy or casual, like a local restaurant, brewery, or park. Formal parties can take place in banquet halls or hotel ballrooms.
Check with the couple to see what kind of party they prefer. If there’s a place they really like for their Jack and Jill, make your reservation ASAP. Then, book any vendors you may need, like bartenders, servers, food trucks, catering, or entertainment.
4. Send invitations
Find the perfect way to invite guests to your party with a wedding shower invitation that matches the vibe. Paperless Post lets you customize each invitation so you can create just the right look and feel before you notify guests about the event’s date, time, location, and other details. Add festive stickers and upload photos of the happy couple, or use their wedding monogram as a custom envelope stamp!
Include relevant invitation wording, and consider adding Blocks to keep additional information organized and the invitation itself easy to read. A Registry Block lets you add website links to the couple’s registry, while a Details Block provides guests with all the relevant details, like dress code and parking instructions. Enable Guest Questions to ask guests about dietary restrictions, meal preferences, or anything else you’d like them to weigh in on.
Paperless Post also lets you send invitations your way, whether that’s by email, text, or shareable link. Send invitations four to six weeks before your Jack and Jill Party and watch the RSVPs roll in!
5. Pick out decorations
Bring wedding vibes to your Jack and Jill with decorations from Paperless Post Party Shop. Design personalized party supplies and find bridal shower décor to enhance your party space. If you’re hosting outside, add outdoor party décor that suits a romantic mood.
Don’t forget the favors! Send guests home with party favors and crackers to keep the party going after the last song plays. You can also pack up cookies or other treats for guests to enjoy later—whether that’s at home or as soon as they get into the car!
6. Follow up with guests and vendors
If you have guests who haven’t RSVPed, reach out to them about two weeks before your Jack and Jill party. With Paperless Post, you can send a broadcast message to remind the guests who you haven’t heard back from yet to RSVP. For guests who plan on bringing items to the party, whether that’s food, drinks, or other supplies, check in to make sure they’re still on board.
This is also a good time to check in with venues and vendors. Call up your party venue to confirm your reservation, and if you’re hiring vendors for the day (such as bartenders, servers, or entertainment), talk to them about any last-minute headcount changes or questions. Shore up all those details ahead of time so you don’t need to deal with them on the day of the party!
7. Get help on party day
Enlist help for your Jack and Jill party with setting up, running games, passing out food, and cleaning up after the fun is done. Give out assignments so you don’t need to run everything—and so you have time to hang out with the happy couple. Those are the memories you’ll want to keep after preparing this once-in-a-lifetime gift for your favorite people!
Jack and Jill party ideas
Need some party planning inspiration? We gathered a few Jack and Jill party themes to get you started—along with ideas for invitations, refreshments, and décor from Paperless Post Party Shop, as well as Jack and Jill party games that get everyone in the party mood!
Diamonds and denim
Some people love dressing up for a party, and others prefer more of a tee shirt and jeans affair. Include both on your guest list—and in your dress code—when you host a diamonds and denim party. This Jack and Jill party theme lets everyone wear what they want, whether that’s sparkles, sneakers, or both.
- Invitation: Invite guests to your diamonds and denim shower with a friendly invitation like “Let’s Shower” by Cheree Berry Paper & Design.
- Refreshments: Perfect for both a wedding shower and a denim theme, The Something Blue Cocktail by The Spruce Eats is a sweet addition to your drink menu.
- Décor: Add some extra glitter to your party with balloon arches in every color to match any party space.
- Activities: Find inspiration in our guide to shower games that range from cute to competitive (or a little of both).
I do BBQ
Set your sights on the grill when you host an ‘I do’ BBQ shower—perfect for couples who prefer cooking, eating, and socializing outdoors. You can host in your own backyard, or at a local park so you can invite more guests.
- Invitation: Let everyone know what’s cooking when you send the “Picnic Table” invitation by Paperless Post.
- Refreshments: Along with burgers and hot dogs, prepare a carne asada recipe by Delish for an instant crowd-pleaser. Don’t forget to offer plant-based options too.
- Décor: Find tableware and outdoor décor in Paperless Post Party Shop’s collection of BBQ and cookout party décor.
- Activities: For couples—and guests—who love being active, host a series of classic field day games like egg tosses and sack races.
Around the clock
An around-the-clock party is a fun shower trend that’s become an instant classic—plus, it makes the gift-giving process even more fun. Assign a time of day to groups of guests, and encourage them to bring a gift that the couple would use around that time. For example, they may need a coffee maker at 8 a.m., while they could use a set of wine glasses around 7 p.m.
- Invitation: The “Gifting Hour” invitation by Paperless Post is a perfect way to introduce an around-the-clock party to guests.
- Refreshments: Serve a traditional wedding dessert, like this Mexican wedding cake recipe by Epicurious, to get everyone in the nuptial mood.
- Décor: Hang garlands and banners in your party space to celebrate the happy couple all day long.
- Activities: Add a twist to the gift-giving game with gift bags for guests that have mystery gifts inside!
Jack and Jill party FAQs
If you still have questions about Jack and Jill parties, we’ve got answers! Find a few more tips and insights below that you may need for your upcoming party.
Who hosts a Jack and Jill party?
Anyone can host a Jack and Jill party—the couple’s siblings, best friends, parents, relatives, or coworkers. Because Jack and Jill parties bring everyone in a couple’s life together, it may be fun to have a combination of hosts pull off the party—like both moms or the best man and maid of honor. The couple can also host their own party, or at least be heavily involved in the planning process.
What happens at a Jack and Jill party?
Even though Jack and Jill parties aren’t the same as bridal showers, they have many of the same elements. Guests play games, give gifts, enjoy refreshments, and mingle with old—and new—friends.
Depending on your Jack and Jill party theme, there may be other activities, including karaoke, axe throwing, bowling, painting, or anything else the couple enjoys. As long as you have the happy couple, food, drinks, and something to do, everyone’s happy!
When do you have a Jack and Jill party?
A Jack and Jill party can take place anytime during the couple’s engagement. If you’d like to follow the same timeline as a traditional bridal shower, consider hosting your party a month or two before the wedding.
Less traditional timelines are also possible. You can host the party well before the wedding—several months to a year before—or even after the wedding to help the couple set up their new home.
Do you bring gifts to a Jack and Jill party?
Like other wedding-related showers, Jack and Jill parties are considered gift-giving events. The host of the shower can give one if they choose, but the task of planning and paying for the shower is often their gift. If the couple has a honeymoon fund, feature that information and link in a Gifts Block in your shower invitation so guests can contribute if desired.
Celebrate the big moments together with Paperless Post
Just like the upcoming wedding, a Jack and Jill party brings a couple’s favorite people together for the most beautiful reason. Let Paperless Post help with your invitation and organizational needs for all the wedding events you’re hosting. We know how important the couple is to you—and throwing an unforgettable party is the best gift we can help you give them!
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